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Posts Tagged ‘relaxation’

What to do when overwhelmed

Posted by Ram Raghavan on 22 July 2009

There are times when all we see is failure, when we feel like a failure. When nothing we do seems to work, when we are unable to do the things that would work. When it seems like the world is closing in on us, when all hope is lost. When it feels like we can’t think any more, for there is too much to think through. When it feels like just giving up, and resigning ourselves to the vagaries of fate. A sense of being helpless, of being overwhelmed. And much like everyone else in the world, I too have had such occasions, especially of late. From each of these experiences I have learnt to better cope the next time around: and yet there’s always something that I hadn’t anticipated, something new for me learn. Here I list a few of these learnings in the hope that you may find them useful. Of course, this list is not definitive: feel free to fill in any voids I may have missed.

Focus your thoughts
The most clear symptom of being overwhelmed is a complete lack of focus. Your thoughts keep flitting from one task to another continuously, your mind keeps wandering all over the place, thereby getting nothing done. The first step to take when overwhelmed is to focus your thoughts. Focusing your thoughts helps turn the negative energy of being overwhelmed into a positive energy of concentration on the task at hand. Instead of a feeling of helplessness, it gives you a sense of purpose. See here for a few simple tips to help you focus. Focusing your thoughts makes you address the problem instead of simply feeling suffocated by it. Focusing also helps you increase your mental productivity by concentrating exclusively on the consequential concerns and pushing the trivial out of your mind, thereby giving you a sense of space and relief.

Evaluate consequence
Sometimes even the most trivial of matters seem like monumental issues. Your colleague gossips about you at work. You come to learn of this and feel overwhelmed with emotion and indignation. It envelopes your mind, chokes your thoughts. It seems like the reputation you painstakingly built has now vanished in an instant, that this one incident is the undoing of all your efforts. But does it really matter? Is it not likely that it will eventually be found that the gossip about is just that: gossip. And more importantly, that people’s perception of you will be shaped by your personal interactions with them and not by something someone says. The consequence of this incident, then, is negligible, isn’t it? Once you realize this, the feeling of being overwhelmed automatically disappears. Evaluating the consequence of an issue shows whether it is something truly monumental, something that you need to worry about, or simply something that is trivial, something you need not unnecessarily fret about. This immediately addresses most of the causes of being overwhelmed, for the simple enough reason that there is no point in being overwhelmed when there is no need to. On the flip side, when the consequence of a concern is far-reaching, your mind automatically attains a sense of purpose, which makes it find the resources and the vigour to address that concern satisfactorily.

Think linearly
When we are overwhelmed, our mind gets bombarded with a multiplicity of competing thoughts. These competing thoughts compete for our mental energies so that no one thought gets the attention it requires in order to follow it to conclusion. The end result: a state of paramount confusion. In order to reclaim our normal thought process we need to somehow step out of this state of confusion. To do this we need to separate these competing thoughts by thinking linearly. Thinking linearly involves sorting our concerns in order of decreasing priority and following up on them in a linear, one-after-another manner. For instance, it’s easy to get overwhelmed before a job interview. You need to do answer the interview questions satisfactorily, need to catch the train to get there on time, need to negotiate terms, need to present and explain your resume convincingly, need to iron your clothes etc. It’s like there’s so much to do, so many aspects to address. The most important thing here is to think linearly, or on a first-things-first basis: iron your clothes, then make sure you get there on time, then present yourself, then answer questions, and finally if everything else works out fine, negotiate terms. Thinking linearly prevents you from getting overwhelmed because it puts only one thought in your head at a given instant of time, allowing you to concentrate on that one thought before moving on to the next. It unclogs your mind and gives you a sense of clarity, which is absolutely essential when you need to perfrom under stress.

Think beyond yourself
The sense of being overwhelmed derives from our perception that somehow life has conspired to work against us. That the things in life which should normally for us are suddenly working against us. This leads to a sense of isolation, of despair. An important aspect of breaking away from this state is to realize our part in the wider scheme of things, basically to think beyond ourselves and into our environment. By comparing your circumstances to that of others, it helps you gain a sense of relative comfort. Thinking beyond ourselves helps us understand that our thoughts and actions have consequence not only to our lives but also to that of those we love. Making a good presentation to your Chairman may determine your prospects for promotion, thus it is important not only to you, but also to your family. Understanding this can give you a sense of purpose, and help you approach the most difficult of tasks. Thinking beyond ourselves also helps us remember that we not isolated, that there is a family and wider society for us to bank upon. This gives a sense of security, and reduces our stress levels.

Take a break
Every situation requires a specific mindset, and every mindset is best suited to a specific situation: being overwhelmed is a clear sign that your present mindset is not best suited to the task at hand. Instead of breaking your head on a task that seems unsolvable, divert your attention to something that’s more attainable. If this is not the best time for you to address this situation, take a break and come back to it later. This will give your mind something new to work on, refresh it and help it regenerate ideas for the earlier task. And when you do come back to it later, rested and refreshed, you may even realize that there was a simple solution staring at you in the face all along.

Relax, sleep on it
Your brain is a battery: it powers your body and life. And yet its reserves are not infinite: it needs to be recharged every so often, or else it will die out. When a battery is at full charge, it would probably make short task of running a camera, and yet when it is empty, it probably couldn’t power your watch. It would get overwhelmed. When your mind is overwhelmed, the normal pathways of thought in your brain become clogged. The thoughts, ideas and inspirations that occurred to you on a daily basis suddenly evaporate. As a result, the easiest tasks and the simplest decisions become insurmountable obstacles. Just like the battery, your mind needs to recharge, to relax. Sleep is an extension of conventional relaxation routines: it’s like getting a full recharge instead of a partial one. There’s something about waking up to the early morning Sun that makes you realize that you have just begun a brand new day and that you get to start from scratch. This feeling of freshness injects your mind with ideas that instinctively show you the simplest solutions to the most intractable issues..

Underwhelm yourself, do nothing
This is the one rule which I swear by the most: “When it is not clear what it is that you are supposed to do, it is best to do nothing”. When you are feeling completely overwhelmed, your mind loses the ability to think clearly. It tends to do things on an impulsive and irrational basis. And worse, it tends to make progressively worse choices leading to a cumulative catastrophe. It’s like this: untieing your shoe lace is a rather straightforward task. However, trying to do this when your fingers are frozen and numb becomes quite a challenge. And, the harder you try, the more entangled you actually end up making it. The best thing to do in these situations is to do nothing. This would probably not address the problem, but at least it won’t make it any worse. Being overwhelmed is bad enough, there’s certainly no point in aggravating the situation even more by befuddling it. After all, when you are so overwhelmed that you are unable to do anything, the only thing to do is nothing. Remember, no matter what happens, life must automatically return to its steady state sooner or later. Time heals. More often than not, you will realize that with time the problem has somehow found a way to solve itself. And this is itself not surprising for nature has its own way of dealing with itself.

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How to focus your thoughts

Posted by Ram Raghavan on 2 July 2009

We all have our bad days. Days when we can’t seem to get anything done, days when we can’t think clearly, days when we just can’t focus our thoughts. The cause could be anything – from strains in relationships to worries about the economy to frustrations about the workplace, but the consequence is almost always the same – significant loss of productivity, be it in personal life or professional. I’ve had my fair share of such days. However, I’ve learnt that the issues of the mind can usually be solved by procedures of the mind. I’ve learnt that there are simple approaches that can help us focus even in the midst of everyday madness. Please see the list below for my observations, and feel free to add your own in the comments section.

Focus on the distraction
When you lose focus your thoughts seem to wander, drift all by themselves. Often times this is not an aimless, direction-less drift. It is a drift in a particular direction that you did not consciously wish to take, probably since you had wanted to focus your thoughts on something else. However, since your subconscious mind seems so distracted and does not let you focus on the task at hand, perhaps you should consider focusing on the distraction instead. Every task requires a particular mindset. Every mindset is best suited to a particular task. Perhaps your present mindset is not best suited to the task you are trying to focus on, perhaps it would be best suited to the distraction that keeps cropping up involuntarily. Focusing on the distraction allows you to perform productively at something you were going to have to do anyway, and re-energizes your mind to focus on the primary task later. Indeed, you might even realize that the distraction was actually linked to the primary task, even if only in a peripheral manner.

Approach from the periphery
Charging into battle straight at the formation of enemy tanks is a valiant thing to do, but not always the intelligent thing to do. Sometimes you require tact and subtlety. Sometimes it is prudent to approach the enemy from his periphery. When I find myself unable to focus on a particular task, I try to focus instead on something indirectly related to it. If I am stuck in the programming of a mathematical formulation, I switch to writing out its fundamental theoretical derivations. When I’m done with the derivations, not only have I regained the zest to program the formulation into code, but I have also learnt something valuable regarding the mathematics lying behind it. Focusing your thoughts on a peripheral task gives your mind the freedom to drift and thus re-energize, and yet keeps it in the space where it can be productive to the primary task itself.

Isolate your focus
When you find yourself unable to focus on one particular thought, it is probably because there are too many thoughts running around in your head. This multiplicity of thoughts dissipates mental energy and thus dissipates your focus. The obvious remedy here is to pick one particular thought – depending on your priorities – and follow it exclusively, in a step by step fashion. Picking one particular topic allows your mind to develop and follow a train of thought dedicated to it in an organized manner. Think of your mind as a bowl of noodle soup, each noodle representing one particular thought. Looking at this bowl, it is difficult to identify one particular strand of noodle and follow it through its length. You need to separate that strand from the rest of the soup, and hold it in isolation to identify it properly. Before I sat down to write this piece, there were competing thoughts in my head regarding arguments on this topic and arguments on a different topic. My mind was constantly switching from this-article-mode to that-article-mode, which was not helping my productivity. Separating these thoughts helped me follow one to conclusion (this article) while storing the other away for later use.

Shuffle things up
The human mind dislikes routine. Routine prevents the mind from acquiring new experiences and limits its exposure, thereby dumbing down its creativity and causing it to lose sharpness. Thought by definition is an energy that originates in your mind at one particular instant of time, something that is original and instantaneous. Routine does not require thought simply because it does not require originality. In fact routine is antithetic to originality and thus to thought itself. For these reasons, losing focus when working on routine tasks is not surprising. Given that routine tasks still need to get done, the easiest workaround is to shuffle your task-list. Simply re-prioritize and re-allocate time slots for each task. This achieves two objectives: it presents your mind something different to work on thus triggering its focus, and it also keeps you fresh and interested by killing boredom.

Focus on your inner voice
Is there a voice at the back of your mind that keeps bothering you every time you try to focus? A voice that you try to suppress but manages to resurface nevertheless? In that case, perhaps you should listen to what it is saying. Perhaps there is something you are missing in your current thought process. Perhaps there is a better way to accomplish the task at hand. While writing this article I was repeatedly bothered by something at the back of my head, something I couldn’t exactly place because I was trying to focus on writing this. And yet that voice in my head kept distracting me every now and then. And then I realized what it was – I had left some eggs to boil on the stove and completely forgot! After attending to that concern, I was back at the computer and typing away happily – no more distractions to bother.

Relax, defocus
The simple complications of everyday life can build a lot of stress on your body as well as your mind. When the mind is under stress, it loses its ability to think clearly due to competing and conflicting thoughts. Chaos and confusion cause your mind to lose focus by dissipating its energy. Your mind can best focus on something when it is relaxed. A relaxed mind is a clear mind, and a clear mind is a mind that can focus thoughts with laser-like intensity. Relaxing also makes your mind refreshed and re-energized, thus increasing creativity and productivity. Defocusing, i.e. thinking of “nothing” is a particularly powerful way to clear the mind. See here for a few simple tips to relax your mind.

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How to nurture your intuition

Posted by Ram Raghavan on 1 July 2009

I took the GMAT yesterday. I got a decent score, but less than what I had hoped for. I was disappointed, but not surprised. Disappointed because I got lower score than I’d hoped for, and yet not surprised because I “knew” this was the score I was going to get. This exact score. How did I know? Intuition. Something in my head told me this would happen, I grasped on to it, and since this wasn’t the first time I got this “inner voice” speaking, I did not ignore it. Sure enough, it turned out to be uncannily accurate, just as it almost always has been. It’s interesting isn’t it, this ability to see ahead in time?

Normal perception of the world is guided by the six senses – sight, sound, smell, taste, touch and thought. However, these senses only allow you to perceive the world in restricted three-dimensional space i.e. these senses signal to your mind those entities or phenomena that are presented to you in your physical vicinity at that particular instant of time. Intuition supersedes these senses by allowing your mind to perceive entities and phenomena that are separated from you in space as well as time. Think of it this way: when you walk down the street, you can see the vehicles on the same street but not those around the corner; on the other hand, intuition can show you vehicles that wait around the corner!

It is important to understand what intuition is and what it is not. If you’re running late and hope that your flight got delayed and it is, that is not intuition, that is coincidence. If you dream you could fly away jumping from the roof of the Empire State building, that is not intuition, that is fantasy. Intuition is an insight, a thought, that arises from your subconscious mind. This thought in the subconscious mind is based on the experiences the conscious mind has gone through and the knowledge it has gained, and so is based on only what can be explained by the conscious memory. Intuition can not be forced by the focus of the conscious memory (like hope), nor can it account for impractical or unreasonable thoughts (like fantasies).

The ability to intuit can be a very handy asset. By allowing you to look into the future, it allows you be prepared for it. Forewarned is forearmed. Intuition can not be explained by science. It is not quantifiable or tangible, it does not follow reason. Human intuition derives from the most fundamental sense of perception of any animal – instinct. For this reason, intuition is not a skill that can be acquired, instead it is a capacity that resides inherent in every human being. It only needs to be acknowledged, nurtured and utilized. Based on my experiences, here are a few tips that could help.

Look at yourself from outside
Intuition is a form of instinct, and instinct is the natural reaction of the subconscious mind to external stimuli in the environment. To tap your intuition you need to understand your environment, and your position in it i.e. you need to look at yourself from a third-person perspective. Doing so allows your mind to follow a potential chain of events and track external stimuli, and pre-emptively generates reactions to them. For instance, my intuition of the GMAT score came when I pictured my emotional state after writing the exam – this led to the realization that I would be in this particular emotional state due to making this particular score.

Keep your mind relaxed and clear
Intuition is the result of the focus of the subconscious mind on one particular chain of thought. For intuition to function optimally, the subconscious mind must function optimally. For the subconscious mind to function optimally, the conscious mind must function optimally. Chaos, confusion and lack of clarity hamper intuition by dissipating thought energy in different directions, thereby preventing its focus. Intuition best occurs when the mind is relaxed and clear.

Listen to your inner mind
All humans have the capacity for intuition, but only some manage to tap into it. This is because only some people manage to be conscious of their subconscious mind. Think of it this way: intuition is a thought process that occurs continuously in your subconscious memory. It bubbles up into your conscious memory only fleetingly, just for an instant of time. My intuition came to me in a flash, and it was gone in a flash. This flash of insight does not stay on top of your memory – you just have to catch it before it disappears.

Try this experiment: close your eyes and think of an object, any object, for 30 seconds. Allow your mind to follow any train of thought related to that object. After 30 seconds, write down every particular thought that occured during that time. Repeat the process. You will notice that with every repetition the amount of thoughts you write down increases. This is not because you are thinking more, but rather because you are grasping on to your thoughts better i.e. you are able to notice the thoughts in your subconscious memory more thoroughly. This is the list of thoughts I came up with just an instant ago when I thought of an apple:
apple, red, yellow, stem, root, tasty, seed, tree, apple tree, apple tree in my friend’s home, friend, call friend about weekend plans – flash!

Act on its advice
Having listened to your inner mind, the next obvious step is to act on it. I learnt this the hard way: sometimes when stepping out of home I would feel that I’d missed something. But I’d think that I hadn’t and so would ignore this feeling and carry on. Once well on my way outside it would hit me that I’d missed my wallet or cellphone or keys etc. Getting an insight allows you to see things you would otherwise not see, but the more important thing is to act on that insight. If intuition tells you there’s a monster lurking around the corner, what good could it possibly be if you just keep walking straight into its waiting mouth? The key to utilizing intuition is to not allow the flash of insight to fade away or be ignored. When you feel a flash of insight from within, take a moment and act on it.

Plan to your intuition, but not excessively so
So I knew I was going to make a particular score. But what good would it have been if I had not planned to it? Planning to your intuition does not mean you need to suspend your life and focus exclusively on the turn of events this has revealed. Instead, it just means that when you make plans, modify those plans to account for these insights as well. I had already made plans to apply to certain colleges before I got my flash of insight, the insight just made me change my plans so as to include colleges that would be suitable to that particular score. Also, it is essential that you plan for a backup in case your intuition fails you: this prevents you from excessively hoping for and obsessing over the insight. This is especially true when you are not fully confident of your intuitive abilities.

Do not obsess over it
It is great to have the ability to intuit – but it is important not to let this rule your life. Intuition is meant to be a thought that arises naturally from within your subconscious mind. Forcing your mind to artificially focus on a particular thought changes its very nature: it ceases to be an intuition, and instead becomes an obsession. And then, all bets are off. Intuition happens when your mind is allowed to think freely, obsessing over something restricts this freedom significantly. When a flash of insight occurs to you, do not get hooked on to it, simply grasp it and store it for later use. Be aware of it and take corrective action, but still get on with your life. Do not try to game it either – there is no particular plan of action that will give you an intuition, or give you an intuition that will be true for sure. It is just a thought that must arise naturally, and it surely will at the right circumstance.

Track its performance
Some people get an intuition every minute of the day, others’ have hardly ever experienced this phenomenon. Some people’s intuition works all the time, some others’ hardly ever. It is not surprising that there will be large variations person-to-person: after all, intuition is a capacity that resides within the mind, and every mind works differently. Just as with everything else in life, the ability to intuit can also be judged based on performance. The performance of your intuition in the past can predict its performance in the future. In other words, intuition can itself be intuited. Observe what has worked best for you: when do you get your intuitions – when sleeping or when awake, what kind of intuitions do you get – about events or entities, about yourself or about others, how accurate have your intuitions usually been, etc. Tracking the performance of your intuition also gives you the confidence to plan to it: I was earlier very skeptical of this phenomenon, but with time I repeatedly observed that these flashes of insight were almost always exactly accurate.

Follow its evolution
Intuition is a form of instinct, it is a consequence of the process of evolution. And intuition can itself evolve – into conviction. When you repeatedly get an intuition about a particular phenomenon with a large degree of success, it gives you the confidence that that phenomenon will pan out in that particular way every time in the future as well. What this means is that after a certain amount of time you wouldn’t need intuition to tell you that something in particular will happen – you will simply know it for sure.

End note: I think of intuition as both a boon and a bane. A boon because it lets you look ahead and so plan for what is in store, a bane because it frustrates you that you can not change the future even though you can look into it.

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How to relax at work

Posted by Ram Raghavan on 25 June 2009

We all know it’s a rat-race out there. Meetings, presentations, deadlines – it all gets so overwhelming. Add to this the constant one-upmanship, the condescension of “management” and an unsympathetic (at best) boss, and the office suddenly doesn’t look so picture-perfect. There’s only so much one can take. After all, we’re all getting old, aren’t we? I know I am. Because that’s the way I feel at work – like pulling out my hair one by one. But I’m not particularly interested in going bald, so I do something else. I try to calm myself, relax myself in the midst of the madness. Having been at it for a while now I’ve learnt a few tricks that work, so I thought I’d share them with you.

Drink water
Yes, it’s that simple. Drink a glass of water – preferably lightly chilled. When you are under tension, the pressuring thoughts in your head stress your muscles and generate body heat – often resulting in a headache. Water, I haver learnt, is one the quickest and easiest ways to address headaches. Water cools down your body and relaxes the muscles. Drinking water also has a positive sensory effect by sending a soothing sensation down your throat. Further, keeping yourself hydrated helps restore the pH balance in your body, greatly benefiting your general health. However, be mindful that carbonated drinks (like coke/pepsi) do not usually do the trick. I always have a bottle of water on my desk – it constantly reminds me to take a sip every now and then.

Speed meditate
The mind usually feels under stress when it is made to concentrate on one particular thought or task. Meditation helps us relax by dissipating, diffusing our thoughts in multiple directions. But I’m not asking you to roll out your yoga mat in the middle of the office. There is, I have observed, a simpler way to achieve some (but not all) of the benefits of meditation without having to allocate as much time. Try this: at your desk, simply close your eyes, take a deep breath and focus on nothing. If it is difficult to focus on “nothing” with all the commotion around you, try to focus on something distant and soothing – like the sound of the ocean or the emptiness of deep space. Even a few seconds of doing this can have a significant effect on calming down your mind.

Talk to a colleague
When you feel stressed out, reach out to colleagues you get along with and strike up a friendly conversation. Talk about something, anything. Anything that gets your mind off work. Talking removes some of the weight of your thoughts from within you, and distributes it among the people you are talking to. It makes you feel unburdened and relieved. Not only will the distraction help you de-stress, but it will also help you build stronger bonds of camaraderie and help refocus on work later. Further, since your colleagues work under the same conditions as you, they are likely to have felt the same emotions at some point in time. Talking with them could help you understand how they coped with their stress so you could try the same yourself.

Talk to a friend or family
Pick up your phone and make that call. Call that friend you’ve been meaning to connect with forever, call your spouse to check up on how (s)he’s doing, or simply call your mom who is always waiting to hear from you. Connecting with friends and family takes your mind off your professional life,  makes you feel part of the larger society, and shows you that there are people who care about you. Most importantly, talking with friends and family helps you remember exactly why and for whom you are at work in the first place. It gives you a sense of purpose and a renewed vigour to approach your work.

Share a joke
Laughter is the best medicine. The health benefits of laughing are too many to list here. It’s a tried, tested and trusted approach to relaxation. Enjoy a joke – in person, on the phone, or over email. Or simply go online and read up something that you find funny. Of course you don’t need to throw up your hands and roll around in the office, but even something that makes you smile a little is good enough. And if you find something really funny, be sure to share it with others – it might help them de-stress as well.

Shuffle your tasks
When I get frustrated working on a particular issue, when I reach the point where I feel nothing I do is working, I stop working. I then pick something completely unrelated and put my mind to that, and very often things click immediately. Different tasks require different skills, different levels of effort, and different mindsets. Perhaps the mindset you are in presently is not best suited to the task you are performing, perhaps it would be best suited to some other task. Furthermore, doing the same thing over and over can get tedious and monotonous and can kill creativity. Not to worry, you’ll always get your productivity back so you can refocus on the issue that has most frustrated you. So shuffle up your task-list and pick something you haven’t worked on for a while.

Avoid staring at the computer
Have you ever noticed how your eyes narrow and your forehead wrinkles when you look at the computer monitor? That’s the stress your muscles are under. Now imagine doing that for hours together, day after day! This stress happens because you are concentrating your energies on a small spot of the screen at any given time. Think of it this way: when you place a piece of paper under the Sun, it stays stable. However, when you introduce a magnifying glass, the paper will eventually begin to burn. The reason is that the magnifying glass concentrates the Sun’s rays into a single spot, causing an excessive accumulation of energy. Taking away the magnifying glass lets the energy dissipate. Applying this rule here, try dissipating your focus throughout the screen – basically look at the screen but do not concentrate on any one spot in particular. You’ll notice your forehead and eyes relax automatically. You can’t keep doing this all through your work day, but there can’t be any harm in trying it for a few seconds every now and then.

Wash your face
The feel of water on your skin makes the muscles under it relax. This is why you feel so relaxed after a shower or a bath. You can’t take a shower while at work, but you certainly can wash your face. Washing your face also removes the oiliness and accumulated dirt from your skin, making you feel fresh and rejuvenated. You don’t even need to wash with soap: a plain cold-water wash can do wonders. So try it, and you’ll feel the difference.

Go out for lunch
Lunch is a great time to break from the humdrum of work and once again connect with life. Having lunch at your desk or with the same people in the office can get monotonous after a while. Instead, go out and get something to eat. It’ll take your mind off work by making you do something other than your office task (like drive), making you greet someone you don’t know, and in general will make you feel part of society. If you don’t have the time to sit down and eat, a quick take-out will serve the purpose.

Get some fresh air
The recycled, artificially conditioned air inside the office can get stuffy – not in the conventional sense, but in the psychological sense. It can clog up your mind and choke your ability to think clearly. Fresh air, much like water, is a natural relaxant. It clears up your mind, makes you feel fresh and helps you refocus on your task when you get back. Further, the sunshine is good for your skin and helps your eye muscles relax as well. So roll up the curtains and open up the windows. Or better yet, step outside the air-conditioned environs of your office and see for yourself. Remember, humans are after all creatures of nature – we work best when in the midst of it.

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