There are times when all we see is failure, when we feel like a failure. When nothing we do seems to work, when we are unable to do the things that would work. When it seems like the world is closing in on us, when all hope is lost. When it feels like we can’t think any more, for there is too much to think through. When it feels like just giving up, and resigning ourselves to the vagaries of fate. A sense of being helpless, of being overwhelmed. And much like everyone else in the world, I too have had such occasions, especially of late. From each of these experiences I have learnt to better cope the next time around: and yet there’s always something that I hadn’t anticipated, something new for me learn. Here I list a few of these learnings in the hope that you may find them useful. Of course, this list is not definitive: feel free to fill in any voids I may have missed.
Focus your thoughts
The most clear symptom of being overwhelmed is a complete lack of focus. Your thoughts keep flitting from one task to another continuously, your mind keeps wandering all over the place, thereby getting nothing done. The first step to take when overwhelmed is to focus your thoughts. Focusing your thoughts helps turn the negative energy of being overwhelmed into a positive energy of concentration on the task at hand. Instead of a feeling of helplessness, it gives you a sense of purpose. See here for a few simple tips to help you focus. Focusing your thoughts makes you address the problem instead of simply feeling suffocated by it. Focusing also helps you increase your mental productivity by concentrating exclusively on the consequential concerns and pushing the trivial out of your mind, thereby giving you a sense of space and relief.
Evaluate consequence
Sometimes even the most trivial of matters seem like monumental issues. Your colleague gossips about you at work. You come to learn of this and feel overwhelmed with emotion and indignation. It envelopes your mind, chokes your thoughts. It seems like the reputation you painstakingly built has now vanished in an instant, that this one incident is the undoing of all your efforts. But does it really matter? Is it not likely that it will eventually be found that the gossip about is just that: gossip. And more importantly, that people’s perception of you will be shaped by your personal interactions with them and not by something someone says. The consequence of this incident, then, is negligible, isn’t it? Once you realize this, the feeling of being overwhelmed automatically disappears. Evaluating the consequence of an issue shows whether it is something truly monumental, something that you need to worry about, or simply something that is trivial, something you need not unnecessarily fret about. This immediately addresses most of the causes of being overwhelmed, for the simple enough reason that there is no point in being overwhelmed when there is no need to. On the flip side, when the consequence of a concern is far-reaching, your mind automatically attains a sense of purpose, which makes it find the resources and the vigour to address that concern satisfactorily.
Think linearly
When we are overwhelmed, our mind gets bombarded with a multiplicity of competing thoughts. These competing thoughts compete for our mental energies so that no one thought gets the attention it requires in order to follow it to conclusion. The end result: a state of paramount confusion. In order to reclaim our normal thought process we need to somehow step out of this state of confusion. To do this we need to separate these competing thoughts by thinking linearly. Thinking linearly involves sorting our concerns in order of decreasing priority and following up on them in a linear, one-after-another manner. For instance, it’s easy to get overwhelmed before a job interview. You need to do answer the interview questions satisfactorily, need to catch the train to get there on time, need to negotiate terms, need to present and explain your resume convincingly, need to iron your clothes etc. It’s like there’s so much to do, so many aspects to address. The most important thing here is to think linearly, or on a first-things-first basis: iron your clothes, then make sure you get there on time, then present yourself, then answer questions, and finally if everything else works out fine, negotiate terms. Thinking linearly prevents you from getting overwhelmed because it puts only one thought in your head at a given instant of time, allowing you to concentrate on that one thought before moving on to the next. It unclogs your mind and gives you a sense of clarity, which is absolutely essential when you need to perfrom under stress.
Think beyond yourself
The sense of being overwhelmed derives from our perception that somehow life has conspired to work against us. That the things in life which should normally for us are suddenly working against us. This leads to a sense of isolation, of despair. An important aspect of breaking away from this state is to realize our part in the wider scheme of things, basically to think beyond ourselves and into our environment. By comparing your circumstances to that of others, it helps you gain a sense of relative comfort. Thinking beyond ourselves helps us understand that our thoughts and actions have consequence not only to our lives but also to that of those we love. Making a good presentation to your Chairman may determine your prospects for promotion, thus it is important not only to you, but also to your family. Understanding this can give you a sense of purpose, and help you approach the most difficult of tasks. Thinking beyond ourselves also helps us remember that we not isolated, that there is a family and wider society for us to bank upon. This gives a sense of security, and reduces our stress levels.
Take a break
Every situation requires a specific mindset, and every mindset is best suited to a specific situation: being overwhelmed is a clear sign that your present mindset is not best suited to the task at hand. Instead of breaking your head on a task that seems unsolvable, divert your attention to something that’s more attainable. If this is not the best time for you to address this situation, take a break and come back to it later. This will give your mind something new to work on, refresh it and help it regenerate ideas for the earlier task. And when you do come back to it later, rested and refreshed, you may even realize that there was a simple solution staring at you in the face all along.
Relax, sleep on it
Your brain is a battery: it powers your body and life. And yet its reserves are not infinite: it needs to be recharged every so often, or else it will die out. When a battery is at full charge, it would probably make short task of running a camera, and yet when it is empty, it probably couldn’t power your watch. It would get overwhelmed. When your mind is overwhelmed, the normal pathways of thought in your brain become clogged. The thoughts, ideas and inspirations that occurred to you on a daily basis suddenly evaporate. As a result, the easiest tasks and the simplest decisions become insurmountable obstacles. Just like the battery, your mind needs to recharge, to relax. Sleep is an extension of conventional relaxation routines: it’s like getting a full recharge instead of a partial one. There’s something about waking up to the early morning Sun that makes you realize that you have just begun a brand new day and that you get to start from scratch. This feeling of freshness injects your mind with ideas that instinctively show you the simplest solutions to the most intractable issues..
Underwhelm yourself, do nothing
This is the one rule which I swear by the most: “When it is not clear what it is that you are supposed to do, it is best to do nothing”. When you are feeling completely overwhelmed, your mind loses the ability to think clearly. It tends to do things on an impulsive and irrational basis. And worse, it tends to make progressively worse choices leading to a cumulative catastrophe. It’s like this: untieing your shoe lace is a rather straightforward task. However, trying to do this when your fingers are frozen and numb becomes quite a challenge. And, the harder you try, the more entangled you actually end up making it. The best thing to do in these situations is to do nothing. This would probably not address the problem, but at least it won’t make it any worse. Being overwhelmed is bad enough, there’s certainly no point in aggravating the situation even more by befuddling it. After all, when you are so overwhelmed that you are unable to do anything, the only thing to do is nothing. Remember, no matter what happens, life must automatically return to its steady state sooner or later. Time heals. More often than not, you will realize that with time the problem has somehow found a way to solve itself. And this is itself not surprising for nature has its own way of dealing with itself.